World Humor Center
Information on the famous mysterious 'Hi-Hi-Hi'
A Division of    aha7.com    - the worldwide leader for products and services   you will never need.
Produced by CYBER-PLANET PUBLI-MEDIA, a high-tech activtity reliably serving the Internet community since 1854
in cooperation with CYBER-PLANET SOFTEX Ltd., more generally known to the public in its role as the official sponsor of the year 2060. http://aha7.com/hum/inde-de.htm

Humor has billions of satisfied power users worldwide. For example the mail received from Mary Miller: 'Before knowing the World Humor Center, my life was a true hell'.
How to find best humor on the Web

  • 1. *EN =English : This current page:     hum7.com
  • 2. *DE =Deutsch[German] : Goto::     hum7.com/inde-de.htm
  • 3. *FR =Français [French] : Goto:     hum7.com/inde-fr.htm

  • 4. Very scientific world humor conference
  • 5. SPHINX more powerful than Microsoft?
  • 6. SPHINX more responsible than Microsoft?


  • 1. -*EN- Humor in English language
    .

    How to find humor for the topic of your choice.
    • This is a 'World humor centre' because it shows how to retrieve most humor for any topic on the worldwide Web, based on the inner working of search engines.
    • The best results can be obtained by search engines where most sites did not pay for their presence in the index.    google.com is a good choice.


    Search / how to proceed
    1. The keyword lists below comprise 2 categories:
      [A]    A general part like 'humor', 'joke' etc.,
      [B]    then a special part like 'computer programs' etc..

    2. Your search command will typically include words from both categories.
      [A] Some or all of the general search words. Example: ' humor joke '.
      [B] In addition more special search words of the long lists.
      Example for the total search:   humor joke dentist medical death

    3. Try to vary the word order for better search results.
      Better overall search results can perhaps be obtained when mixing the words from both categories. This is due to the innter working of some major search engines.
      - Example 1: ' humor computer joke programming '
      - Example 2: ' joke dentists fun doctors kill humor '

    4. Try varying search word combinations and state the differing results.
      The reaction of search engines for this vary significantly. This is because the search mode 'by default' is defined in a different manner by the major search engines.


    Suggested general search words
    • humor   laughter   joke   wit   fun   parody   quote
    • ... or a different series of general search words: ...
      cartoons   comics   humor   fun   art


    Suggested special search words
      Remark: The leading code --'XX -- ... etc. is a topic description in application of the: Sphinx classification system. A code sample list is here:
          aha7.com/sph/class-en.htm   = Sphinx
    Now the keyword lists:
    • --'BR -- Cars: - try it also with your own car brand --
      cadillac   ferrari   mercedes   porsche   volkswagen

    • --'CA -- Computing: --
      computer   computing   program   programmer   software   hardware

    • --'CC -- internet: --
      web   internet   webmaster   site   page

    • --'E -- invest + finance: --
      invest   finance   financing   banks   banking   stock   exchange   broker

    • --'JJ -- Foreign languages: --
      foreign   languages   translation   linguistics   translator   learn   vocabulary   dictionary

    • --'JK -- citations: --
      quotes   citation   quotation   aphorisms   collection   wisdom   wit   esprit   famous   persons   philosopher   philosophy   ages

    • --'JU -- 'group humor' like: --
      British   Jewish   American   French   German   Polish   Russian

    • --'KR -- science: --
      science   physics   mathematics   research   education

    • --'KW -- education: --
      education   educational   school   university   teacher   professor   students

    • --'MJ -- music: - evidently a lot of search words oould be used - here 3 examples:
      music   opera   Mozart

    • --'T -- engineers: --
      engineers   engineering   technical   constructing   industry   industrial   production   robots

    • --'U -- legal professions: --
      lawyers   law   legal   judges   courts   legislation

    • --'V -- politics: --
      politicians   politics   elections   voters   parliament

    • --'WY -- medical professions: -- (there are MANY words... examples:)
      doctors   dentists   medical   health   ill   death

    4. Very scientific world humor conference
    • This site organizes from time to time very serious scientific world humor conferences on the psychology of laughter and humor. The conference results are published and available for everybody:
             .. aha7.com/ppp-en/vjwhumr-en.htm


    5. SPHINX more powerful than Microsoft?
    BIG BROTHER makes you lucky

    Use the newest version of MS-Windows, and you will state that one (or 'the') major change from prededing versions is:
    'click and be even more on the Web connected with somebody which you did not choose to be connected with...',
    ... and in many cases your MS-Windos does not work as it should,
    ... and you can only continue after having confirmed what dictator's language regulation has invented for his systems bugs:
    ... This is, if you refuse to confirm that this bug is 'ok', you cannot continue working with MS-Windows.

    Once upon a time, system programmers dared to call a faulty program function an 'error'. This is the period after which some Microsoft programmers were fired.

    Now unpleasant error messages have been replaced in our subconscious thinking by 'ok'. An outstanding idea. You see, we are living in a wonderful time with so incredible innovative companies like Microsoft, which manipulates our brains to make us feel lucky all the time:
    'Microsoft bugs' = 'all is ok' = 'I love you, Microsoft'.

    BIG BROTHER visits your PC?

    When you click on the many MS-WIN options, there are nevertheless some astonishing cases that it will work without bugs, mostly to become connected with some service at www.microsoft.com. The evident question has been discussed by many:
      Does Microsoft try to use this in order to spy out all PC's worldwide? ... for example simply in order to find illegal copies of Microsoft software?
      This would logically require to create a worldwide PC data base tracing all registration numbers...

      Microsoft representatives told journalists that there is certainly no such intention involved. It is certainly left to you to believe this or not to believe it. If you believe that the latest new MS-Win version is something really new and not simply a neglectable upgrade,
      then you will perhaps also be able to believe that Microsoft will never abuse the power opportunity described above.

    BIG SPHINX visits your PC?

    Thanks to our staff member, Sphinx the Egyptian goddess of all mysteries, hired late 1997, we were faster than Microsoft. Sphinx already knows since then and until now and in eternity the contents of all Win- and DOS- PC's connected to the Web worldwide, for example yours.
    You do not believe it?


    If you are using Unix, Linux, etc., no reason to be deceived.
    Citation: ''Linux protects perfectly against virus risks'' (and any other evil....)
    Forget about such bla-bla; Sorry to confess it, but if you are using Linux or any other UNIX, our Sphinx is spying out your PC, too, since a long time.




    Now you have learnt that there are no barriers to spy out your PC.
    • This was done to demonstrate how easy it is to collect information from other people's PCs, the software used, and even the contents of data files, once that you connect your PC in any way with the outer world.
    • (Hopeful that you understand instantly that SPHINX was NOT doing something like this.)

    6. BIG SPHINX more responsible than BIG Microsoft?
    [Disclaimer for this Web site]

    BIG SPHINX makes you safe

    Your final question will be if our action is more responsible than that of Microsoft... the general legal contract clauses. View it yourself, then decide if it compares favoritely with those of major players in the software and hardware market.
    Read it and decide, did you ever see a more cosumer-friendly more honest more well-balanced equitable text like this?

    Standard Disclaimers
    This site is intended for general use and no warranty is implied for suitability to any given task. I hold no responsibility for your setup or any damage done while using/installing/modifing this site page.

    And now for the Lawyer's crap...
    • WARNING: This site warps space and time in its vicinity.

    • WARNING: This site attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the sites of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.

    • CAUTION: The mass of this site contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.

    • HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This site contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.

    • CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the ''uncertainty principle,'' it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this site is and how fast it is moving.

    • ADVISORY: There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as ''tunneling,'' this site may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconveniences that may result.

    • READ THIS BEFORE OPENING THIS ON YOUR SCREEN: According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this site may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.

    • THIS IS A 100% MATTER SITE: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.

    • PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this site, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.

    • NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this site are held together by a ''gluing'' force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.

    • ATTENTION: Despite any other listing of site contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this site consists of 99.9999999999% empty space.

    • NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this site is ten-dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are ''rolled up'' into such a small ''area'' that they cannot be detected.

    • PLEASE NOTE: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this site, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.

    • COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this site are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the sites of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.

    • HEALTH WARNING: Care should be taken when lifting this site, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.

    • IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The entire physical universe, including this site, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this site in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
    Luv y'all ... Enjoy! ... Don Pedro :-)

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